sigh.

Family :::

Yeah, so, I miss my family, a lot. I feel kind of like I am missing their lives, like I am not there to be with them while they have birthdays and have good days and bad days and eat dinner together...

It's not like I am lonely, really, I mean I have people who mean the world to me around me all the time, but sometimes you just really want a hug from your Grandma, or your mom, or your dad, or even (maybe especially) your little brother.

And sometimes it just hits you and you want to fly home that night. But you know that you aren't going to. And that is ok. Because tomorrow will come, and tomorrow will go, and pretty soon all the tomorrows will have come and gone, and you will be flying home that night.

And until then you learn so much more about yourself and life. Like that you maybe don't want to live in Africa as a missionary for the rest of your life. And that maybe you need your family to be closer than you thought you needed them. Or that pasta is the easiest and quickest meal, but couscous is even faster! And better yet - cereal and milk. You also learn that houses get dirty really fast, and there are always going to be dishes. You learn how to live with out a car, and sometimes fight to find motivation to walk to the store/the gym/the mall/a friends place.

You cherish the meals that others cook for you, the hugs your friends give you, the Saturday nights that you can go to bed early, and the cards that come for you in the post.

You remember how easy life was in high school, and how hard you thought it was.

You realize, that you will miss England, and more importantly, the people you have come to love who live in England. You remind yourself of this, and try not to take moments for granted.

But you still have 127 days. Plus a month, if you stay an extra month, but who knows when you will sort your life out.

xoxo.