Sick Tunes

Speeding Cars by Imogen Heap

"There, there, baby its just text book stuff
It's in the ABC of growing up
Now, now darling
Oh don't lose your head..."

I love how she uses her voice in this song. And I tell myself this when things go wrong, its in the ABC's of growing up...

When It's Love by Anjulie

"I'll know when it's love
When the ground starts to rumble and the tide pulls me under..."

I really love the chorus in this song, just discovered this artist, she has a gorgeous voice.

Cheers Darlin' by Damien Rice

"I die when he comes around to take you home
I'm too shy, I should have kissed you When we were alone"

Kind of depressing. Ok really depressing but sooo chill you could get lost to it. And I like the clinking of glasses in the background.

Whatcha Say by Jason DeRulo (with Imogen Heap)

Mmmm whatcha say
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say
Mmmm that it´s all for the best? of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did

Really sweet combination of music

Just Dance Cover by Gary Go Feat Mr. Dialysis

"Just dance, gonne be ok, been here before
just dance
sping that record babe loud on the floor..."

LOVE this cover. seriously soooooo legit. get it.

Let the Junk Bring You Closer to God

The dominant characteristic of an authentic spiritual life is the gratitude that flows from trust—not only for all the gifts that I receive from God, but gratitude for all the suffering. Because in that purifying experience, suffering has often been the shortest path to intimacy with God.- Brennan Manning

I think this is so true, and that is one reason for the Bible verse in Romans that says we rejoice in suffering. Suffering makes us stronger, wiser, and closer to God. There is a song by Kathleen Carnali called Dangerous Prayer and she asks God to "rain on my parade, strip me down again, so I'm desperate for you Jesus, whatever it takes bring me to my end, so I'm desperate for you, amen." I love that song. And I know this is true in my own life. I went through a lot of junk that made me decide to leave public school and go to Campion Academy, and by the time I graduated high school, I was a completely different person. Not a perfect person, but a Christian, and someone who loves God so much. I will constantly be changing, trying, growing, becoming closer to God. Through good things but also through sufferings. I just think its good for us to remember that "all things work together for the good of those who love God" (Romans 8:28). So when you are going through junk, cling to God and his promises.

A month and two days

I wake up and I lay in bed. I am thinking "wow, I live in England". It has been a month and 2 days now that I have been here. It's gone by quickly. I am homesick and Chris sick :). But not to the point of tears, usually. Sometimes though it just hits you. I went to see the proposal today with Zoe and Charlotte, and it made me tear up cause it made me think about Chris, I had to force my mind somewhere else. I miss my family too though, I wish Austin could come visit me, with me being off in other places all the time we haven't ever gotten to get as close as I wish we were. But I love him and I know he loves me and I will always be here for him. My mom and dad are a given...of course I miss them. I miss just hanging out the four of us. Going to the mountains, or eating breakfast, or playing games, whatever, I am really really blessed to have the family that I do and I will always miss them when I am not with them. It would have been easy to stay at home. To stay in a place that I know, with people I know, doing things that I know how to do. To stay in my little church. Comfortable, and easy. But I am glad I am here. Growing, learning, and making new friends. People are already asking me what I am going to do next year. It would be smart to have a plan I suppose. I don't. But if you know me, you know that even if I did it would probably change. lol. I know that I am here, I am happy, and this is where God wants me. That's enough for me right now.

Youth Sabbath School Class

I am STOKED. Because... we are starting a youth sabbath school! Right now like 11-19 all meet in the same class but we are going to start a 16-19 which will be so so so awesome. I think it will be so good for the ages to be separated. You go through completely different things when you are 11 and when you are 19. Hopefully we can get the class into the flat too so it's more chill. I have lots of ideas. I want to do breakfast in the flat once a month....I want to do a short film once a month...I want a facebook...I want prayer notebooks...I want a website where they can ask questions anonymously...I want music...I just can't wait for this to start. It will be a good thing.

Written.

It feels like this

For Christopher

Here I am
but where are you
You are at home where you belong
but where do I belong
I feel alone
there are plenty of people here
but not you
How could we know what 12 months will change
We don't
but I think about it
Will I come home to you
Maybe I am homeless
But you make me feel at home
I like to think about you
And how you make me feel
but I try not to
I don't like how it makes me feel
when I think about how you make me feel
but I should get used to it
because I am here
but where are you
You are at home where you belong

Chocolate.

I am having a problem. I am having an obsession with chocolate. And I normally do not eat sugar. I have not had a candy bar in months, and today I ate a kit kat!! Ah. I feel like a traitor to my body hahaha. And worst part is I would love to eat another one. I try to only keep dark choc. around but the church has chocolate downstairs. It isn't mine so for now I am safe. But he said I could have one if I ever wanted to, and that's where that kit kat came from. chocolate. mmm. I am bored that is part of the problem. Kimberly left so I am a little lonely, not bad. Good time to study and do laundry and what not but it's weird to have so much down time.

playing catch up

wow. so I got back from 7 days in Sweden on Sunday! It was so gorgeous. We were at an Adventist camp in the woods there, with a beach. I got basically 0 hours of sleep haha but it was fun. It was kind of culture shock, because the rules compared to adventist camp rules in america were so chill...the weirdest thing for me though was that before entering any of the buildings the rule was you had to take your shoes off!!! And I was like WHAAAAT, I am going to get a foot fungus from someone! I didn't. But it was so awkward. I was not a fan haha. But now I have some swedish friends which is cool. I met a girl from Finland. OH! One of the teens that went with us is from Estonia. Which I did not know exsisted but I will have you know I passed geography with an A lol. I am starting to miss home. Mostly because Kimberly is leaving. We have gotten really close the past two weeks and it is gonna be much more bland without her here. She is amazingly fun and she loves God so much. We are actually a lot a lot alike. Loud and American. Haha. But I miss my mom and dad and brother a lot. And I miss Chris. I also miss Sara. I didn't even get to spend much time with her this year but we texted each other about everything and sent each other music videos constantly. I miss my daycare kids like crazzzzzy. I really miss PUC food. or mom/grandma food. Now if I am hungry I have to walk to the store. And then cook it. When I lived with crystal for the summer I ate frozen grapes and beans and rice. Now I don't even have the motivation to make beans and rice haha. I had my first fish n chips yesterday. it was so good until I realized I was eating an actual fish. like there was the tail !! do we do that in America? Cause all the times I have gotten them in America (okay so only a few times) it was pieces of fish not a whole fish haha. anyways. keep me in your prayers please and you guys are all in mine! PS guy in coconut picture is youth pastor, Dejan (day-ann) from serbia, he also lives in the flat, he is really funny and an AWESOME speaker.